I AM NOT YOUR SUPER WOMAN

“I go hard, I go hard / Get what’s mine, take what’s mine / I’m a star, I’m a star / ‘Cause I slay, slay” – Formation by Beyonce’

“Now I’m floating like a butterfly / Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes / I went from zero, to my own hero” – Roar by Katy Perry

“They can say whatever, I’ma do whatever / No pain is forever, yup, you know this / Tougher than a lion, ain’t no need in tryin’/ I live where the sky ends, yup, you know this” – Hard by Rihanna

“Now I am invincible / No, I ain’t a scared little girl no more / Yeah, I am invincible / What was I running for / I was hiding from the world / I was so afraid, I felt so unsure / Now I am invincible another perfect storm” – Invincible by Kelly Clarkson 

How can I not be empowered? How can I not do it all, have it all?

Scripture

Zechariah 4:6 –  So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,” says the LORD Almighty.

Lessons Learned

“I can bring home the bacon (da-dada). Fry it up in a pan (da-dada). And never, ever let you forget you’re a man cause I’m a woman (dada). Naturally.” “Whatever you want, whatever you need. Anything you want done, baby, I’ll do it naturally ’cause I’m every woman. It’s all in me.”  From the time I was “knee-high to a grasshopper,” it has been ingrained in me that women must do more, sacrifice more, give more, achieve more, oh and by the way, don’t complain. Don’t give up or give in. Just be more. 

I had bought into the myth that I could move faster than a speeding bullet! I was more powerful than a locomotive! I could leap tall buildings in a single bound. I was, in fact, a superwoman. And for a while, I was doin’ it. I was gettin’ er done. Pregnant, 21 credits, two part-time jobs, in need of a place to live – Got It Done. Married, two children, full-time job, doctoral student – Got It Done. Meals to be cooked, house to be cleaned, children to be chauffeured, tutored, nourished, clothed, bathed, trained up, and loved – Got It Done. Lose weight, exercise, eat well, heal – Got It Done. Establish, nurture, and maintain friendships, grow spiritually, practice random acts of kindness, give back to society, help the helpless, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, present, organize, coordinate, all while smiling through the hot flashes – Got It Done. 

But then COVID-19 hit home. I was wiped out for months, and I finally realized that I Was Done. My Motivation Was Gone. I Just Couldn’t Anymore. I Didn’t Want to Do It Anymore.

Lessons Lived

To help me through this particular crisis of running out of steam, I went to the Bible searching for women like me. And who did I find? The Proverbs 31 Woman. Have you read Proverbs 31? I read it and remember thinking, “Wow, she’s perfect,” the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect citizen. And while it seemed to work for her, I believed that her kind of perfection was out of reach for me. Surely she was the figment of some man’s imagination, no doubt, placed in the Bible to highlight my many, many shortcomings and imperfections. How could this woman motivate me?

And after coming to this conclusion, I just hit the floor. I became one big ol’ pile of a discombobulated mess. And it was in this moment of anguish and despair I do believe that God was simply delighted. Not delighted in my despair, but delighted in the fact that He could finally catch up with me since I was no longer so busy and distracted and intent on getting it all done! I was still, and He could work with me. And at this moment, He whispered sweet nothings in my ear.

What I learned (actually, what I’m still learning) is that I’m not your Superwoman, despite what I’m expected to be. Despite what I’d hoped to be. And I am also learning that the only way to truly “Get It Done” is To Be Done. Be Done with the running and the rigor and this rat race we call life. Be Done with unrealistic expectations. Be Done with the right-nows and the should’ve-been-done-yesterdays. Let go of the misguided definitions of womanhood. Let go of unrealistic expectations. Toss your To-Do-List out the window. Shred your Strategic Plan. Let go of your goals. Be still a while (Psalm 46:10). Ask God to establish your steps (Proverbs 16:9). Ask Him to set your agenda for the day (Jeremiah 7:23). Reprioritize, making Christ the center of your life (Matthew 6:33). Be Done so that God can Get It Done. 

I promise you’ll be refreshed, rejuvenated, and restored.  It’ll feel strange at first, sort of awkward, backward. Being Still to Get It Done. Standing to Move. Waiting to Act. But this I do promise, you’ll be able to Get It Done; not by your own might but by God’s strength and power (Zechariah 4:6). 

So the next time someone asks you what’s your superpower, whether it be in your “I am woman hear me roar” voice or the “unfading beauty of your gentle and quiet spirit (I Peter 3:4)” voice, let them know:  

My superpower lies in the mighty name of Jesus, Who, by His strength, I can do “all things.” While wielding the sword of the Spirit, I can take on rulers and authorities of the dark world. I can counter lies and distortions while protected by the breastplate of righteousness. While girded with the belt of truth (Ephesians 6:10-18), I can dream big and live large because of the One who does exceedingly more than you’ll ever imagine (Ephesians 3:20). I can run against an army and leap over a wall! (Psalm 18:29).  I am forever changed – no longer your idea of superwoman but God’s Superwoman as uniquely planned and designed!

Reflections

  1. How does Zechariah 4:6 speak to you?
  2. What are your thoughts regarding the superwoman complex? 
  3. What are your thoughts about the world’s characterization of the superwoman versus the Biblical superwoman?
  4. How have you thought of the Proverbs 31 woman in the past? After reading the attached analysis and the regrouping of the texts, what do you think of her now?
  5. Make a list of all the things you have to “Get Done” daily. How does writing and reviewing the list make you feel? How do the things on the list help or hinder your walk with Christ? How might your list differ from God’s personalized list for you?
  6. What would it mean for you if you were to throw out your to-do lists, plans, goals, etc. and spend time (real, deep soul-searching time) seeking God’s purposes and plans for your life? 
  7. As a result of all that you “Get Done,” how has all of the doing by your own might left you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually?
  8. How might your life be improved if you “Got It Done” by God’s might and power rather than your own? What’s keeping you from “Being Done” so that God can “Get It Done” on your behalf?
  9. What are your personal LIFE Lessons?
    • Liberation:: What new insights have you gained that have freed you from past thoughts or practices?
    • Inspiration: In what ways have you been spiritually, emotionally or mentally motivated to live for Christ?
    • Fortification: What additional scriptural texts, passages or stories can reinforce and strengthen you against the attacks of the enemy?
    • Edification: How might you share your story to edify others and bring glory to God?

Playlist

As you process, digest, and apply what’s been shared, here are a few songs from my “I Was Created” Playlist. Listen and let the music infiltrate your soul. Read the lyrics and let the words encourage you. And I pray that you’ll be blessed as I was. 

Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, help me remember that with You all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). Help me place my hopes and dreams in Your hands so that they may flourish and grow, expand and rise, fill and consume, multiply and increase, and ultimately, overflow (John 10:10). Help me place my doubt and fear in Your hands so that I may experience calm, comfort, assurance and a peace that surpasses all understanding. Help me to mount on wings on eagles and SOAR (Isaiah 40:31). In Your most holy name Jesus, I pray, Amen.